The Worst

"Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica'

Here's a hard and fast rule about musical reality shows: If your last name is Simpson or your first name is Ashlee (or even Ashley), your show is bound for terribleness. The prime offender of this principle is "Newlyweds," which chronicled the first two years in the married life of singers Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. The show is most famous for Simpson's frequently ditzy moments, like when she wondered whether the canned Chicken of the Sea tuna was actually chicken, or whether buffalo wings actually came from a buffalo. It's no surprise then that the marriage didn't last. Marriage is hard enough without the added pressure of a television crew in your home, let alone the fact that the show made Simpson into a household name and Lachey into a household husband.

'The Ashlee Simpson Show'

Jessica's little sis, Ashlee, also made some bad musical TV, though truth be told, her show was actually kind of fascinating at times. Rarely have audiences been given such access to the star-making pop music machinery as it fires on all cylinders, transforming an average Jane into a million-selling pop starlet. Not only are we privy to the recording of Ashlee's first album and frequent record company meetings, but Season 2 begins with Simpson's infamous "Saturday Night Live" lip-synch debacle, which leaves dad/manager Joe to do some on-the-spot damage control. But not before Ashlee can jig her way into the American consciousness, as a prime example of what happens when the star-making machinery hiccups.

'Britney and Kevin: Chaotic'

What if the world's biggest tabloid attraction and her questionably talented rapper husband released their home movies to broadcast television and no one watched? So was the fate of Britney Spears' ill-fated reality show, which gave American viewers an all-access pass into the couple's intimate moments. For most of the series, the couple remains sequestered in fancy hotel rooms around the world, where they act like bored teenagers with too much time on their hands. But amateur production values aside, the hours of tape the couple shot themselves during the first few weeks of their relationship were about as exciting to watch as the color bars of a late-night TV test pattern. 

'There and Back: Ashley Parker Angel'

Ashley Parker Angel has the distinction of having not one but two music reality shows under his belt. Not only was he a member of MTV's first edition of "Making the Band," in which the Backstreet Boys/'N Sync mastermind Lou Pearlman formed a new boy band, but cameras followed Angel a second time as he transitioned from boy bander to bona fide musician. Of course, one storyline is never enough in reality TV, so we also follow Angel as he prepares to become a first-time dad. Oh, and did we mention he's flat broke and living with his mother-in-law, too? The most annoying thing about Angel's second-coming, however, is the way some scenes in the show freeze frame, allowing Angel to break the fourth wall, literally stepping out of the frame to talk directly to the camera. The technique works in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," but here we just keep wishing Angel would take the day off.

'Meet the Barkers'

Sure, Travis Barker, drummer of blink-182, has a cool Mohawk and a lot of tattoos, but sadly this reality show is little more than that. For a guy as flashy as Barker, his reality show is surprisingly dull. Positioned as a sort of punk-rock version of "Newlyweds," Barker and his wife, model/actress Shanna Moakler, simply aren't interesting enough to support the weight of their own series. Seeing Barker shop on Rodeo Drive alongside rich Beverly Hills, Calif., housewives is an amusing juxtaposition for a single episode, but it's far from enough to justify repeated viewings. "Meet the Borings" would be more like it.